DAY 38

Sometimes being by yourself is rather interesting... Good or bad, I'm not sure.  All I know is I am going to live for myself, more than likely probably make a few mistakes, and learn from them.  Do I know what is going to happen tomorrow? Probably.  Do I know what is going to happen 41 days from now?  If you showed me a calendar I could probably give you a damn good guess.  Yea, I guess alot of thinking these past few days truly showed me what I mean and meant to some people and how bad excuses get.  I'm frusterated, fed up, and absolutely sick with hearing the same excuses. I am always the one holding people back, I am always the reason for unhappiness.  I can't do a single thing right, yet I put so much time and money into somethings. For that reason... If it wasn't for my grandparents and aunts and uncles, I would never go back "home" again...
Goodnight
God Bless
Much Love
-Me
P.S oh and to anybody who knows I have a blog who might be reading this,  unless i specifically say your name in the blog, I'm not referring to you, before you decide to yell at me for something you have no idea about.  You know who you are.

DAY 37

Holy Shit today needed to go by fast, and thank god it did.  Looked in the mirror at myself and really thought about things.  Do I like where I'm headed?  Am I satisfied with myself now?  Could I be doing better?  The answers were No, No, Yes.  Unfortunately times are hard and I'm letting them get to me when I should be living and loving life.  Starting Sunday, when I begin my cut for summer.  I'm going to laugh a little more, love a little stronger, and enjoy all the little things in life. I will wear a smile even when I don't feel the best.  I will crack down on this last month of school work, Track, and Lifting.  I am going to bust my ass to be the best that I can be, and then some.  When/If I decide to come home this summer, I want people to realize I've changed alot, not just on the outside, but the inside.  I want people to realize I am NOT the same old Ryan who could get kicked around or laughed at, I'm a much stronger person, physically and emotionally.  Most importantly, I am going to make time for friends and not let anything keep me away from doing what I love.  It's time to be a little selfish and start doing things I want to do, be with who I wanna be, hang out with people I haven't got to see.  And most importantly.... Live, Laugh, Love
:)
Goodnight
Much Love
God Bless
-Me

DAY 36

Well I think I've taken quite the leave of abscense lately, definitely sorry about that.  it's just been a rough few weeks and now I should be back to normal.  Hopefully I won't be as busy and I will be able to type up like I used to.
I really should be studying for my math exam tomorrow but.... I found out the class wasn't weighted and I have a very high A as it is and so I went full-lazy in that class.  Yes I know I shouldnt have done that, but this exam is not going to be that many questions and on top of that, I absolutely HATE the section we are working on... I need a tutor.. I'll give away free hugs if somebody would like to help?! :)
Track is going fairly well, I will write more about it in my other blog but as far as the overall aspect, it is going well.  Getting a feel for the 2k disc finally and getting form down.  Haven't thrown shot put outdoors yet but I guess that is the plan for tomorrow.  Hammer isn't going too bad either, I've just been so sore lately that my form isnt that crisp.  Meet next weekend and everything will hopefully be cleaned up by then!
Have not spoken to family besides my grandfather lately.  Just a personal decision I guess...  But that's all that is really goin on in my life right now!  Make sure to check out my other lifting blog and I promise now that things have settled down, those posts will be better too!
Goodnight
Much Love
God Bless
-Me

DAY 35

Starting to type, starting tomorrow
God Bless
-Me

DAY 34

I love being mindfucked at 10:45 at night...
Goodnight
Godbless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 33

2 days and I will be able to blog normal again
Much Love
God Bless
Goodnight
-Me

DAY 32

3 days....
Goodnight
Godbless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 31

It was a rough one....
Bed time
Goodnight
God Bless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 30

Maybe I should start posting how my day really went and not sugar coat it anymore...  Since I can't even do that right....
Goodnight
God Bless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 29

Well. The Badger game was pretty good!

Shame they lost though...

Today went by rather quickly.  I only had one class, got to sleep in, and didn't having lifting.  On top of that I had a really short practice and actually ended up playing some basketball with the other throwers and coaches for half of it!  Just gonna relax tonight probably play some guitar and hang with friends.  Nothing else to doooooooo.
Goodnight
God Bless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 28

Life is.......................  GREAT!!!!!  Or at least i like to keep telling myself that! Just got to keep on keepin on!
Didn't do that well on my Astronomy Exam.  Actually fairly disappointed based on the amount of time I put into studying, and still only got a 70%.  Just wish it was less than 50% of our grade... Stupid weighted classes...
Otherwise other things are going pretty well!! Just super tired and busy and need some sleep! Looking forward to friday.  Got myself a skype session and HOPEFULLY it works, hell maybe I'll get to skype twice in one week!!

Enough of this excitement, I'm hittin the hay!
Goodnight
God Bless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 27

Gonna make this blog a short one because i have quite a bit of studying to do tonight!
First off- Such a long day, it seemed to drag on and on forever.  Between my 1 class, the insane amount of homework I've been getting, stressors form here and back home, sports, lifting, etc.  ANYTHING you can think of seems to be taking forever.
Havent talked with my mom or parents in general in a while, so hope all is well there.
Didn't lift today, just had practice which I ripped a massive chunk of skin off my neck because I didn't have any chalk to use.  I cannot wait until outdoor season starts and I get to travel all over the place!!!!
Well since I used caps right there^ and took up a bunch of space. I'm gonna say thats the end of this blog and check out my lifting one too!!! It'll have pics and music and lots of fun stuff!  Off to do homework!
Goodnight
Much Love
God Bless
-Me

DAY 26

SUCH A LONG DAY. Sometimes, I just want to SCREAM.
Well at least I made it through the day.  Family is doing well I've heard which takes some of the stress of me.  I cannot wait to be back home for the summer.  St. Cloud is taking its toll on me.  I just wish i knew what the future held, or at least I knew a little bit about the future...
Track is going okay I suppose.  Lifting is really not making me happy, but I don't know what to do about that.  Just keep on keepin on I suppose.
Classes are DEFINITELY starting to stress me out.  It's getting down to crunch time and I need to make sure that I am getting good grades for the next few weeks because once outdoor season starts, I am going to have alot on my plate.  But I have been able to maintain A's or a high B in all my classes so far, soooooo yay!
About to start another blog, Completely related to my body, lifting, training, workouts and dieting. Including pictures and songs of the day etc. Hopefully that will keep me busy when I do get a chance to relax.
Well thats all I have for the night,
Goodnight
God Bless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 25

SO stressed.  A 2nd blog and longer blogs will start tomorrow.  Promise.  Just had to make it through this week.  And I Did... barely.
Goodnight
Godbless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 24

LONG DAY

Definitely need to get to bed soon, or else I'm NEVER gonna be able to get up in the morning and go lift. Speaking of LIFTING :D

ME!!!

I'll end this blog with a picture taken after lifting today.
Determined to get that body ready for summer even if it kills me!  I have to start thinking about my future and what will happen.  So itt's time to make the best out of every situation possible.
Goodnight
Much Love
God Bless
-Me

DAY 23

Nothing to see here.. :/ Day sucked...
Goodnight
Much Love
God Bless
-Me

DAY 22

SUCH A LONG DAY!!!
Short Blog, actually no blog  to be honest, there is nothing to say right now and I need sleep.
WHOLE BODY IS SORE, so I definitely need to rest and recover, but I do have a subway sub for breakfast!!! Can't wait!! Promise to start wrting better and longer.
Goodnight
Much Love
God Bless
-Me

DAY 21

Sweet Jesus it has been beautiful out lately!!!! SPRING IS HERE.
Lifting has been rather interesting lately.  Numbers are way high and nobody can seem to hit them, also I have been SUPER sore and have actually been eating like crazy trying to recover from these lifts.  Managed to gain 2lbs since coming home from break so hopefully its working its way into my muscules :P.
School has been fairly decent.  Looking to stay on high honors this 2nd semester as well and busting my ass to get there! Hoping to make the Deans list in my 1st year of college!! So basically I've been doing A LOT of studying, extra credit, and of course, homework, in order to keep my grades up!
Family and Friends have all been well as far as I know.  I just really miss home already and am pretty pumped for summer vacation.  I NEED MONEY.  But counting down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until I can go home :).
Life otherwise has been pretty great, what more can i say?!?!?!
Thats about all i can think of.  Sorry the Blog was pretty short, Im hopefully gonna start a new one with all my lifting stuff and track practices next week, so yea, hopefully that gets some publicity :)
I'll leave you guys with a smile :)
Goodnight
Much Love
God Bless,
-ME

DAY 20

LONG DAY

Should have a nice long blog and a few pics tomorrow but right now i gotta hit the hay! Just need to make it through the week and get re-situated so i can start the long blogs again!

Goodnight All
Much Love
God Bless
-Me

DAY 19

First day of class since getting back to St. Cloud and getting situated so tomorrow I will definitely make a longer post.
I will leave you with a picture!
Much Love
God Bless

Nice pond in my front yard

-Me

DAY 17/18

NO BLOG THIS WEEKEND JUST ENJOYING THE TIME I HAD AT HOME!!! :)

DAY 16

Another short short blog today. A lot of packing was done within the course of the day.  Also had a fun time this afternoon. :)
In the process of making a huge decision.  I'm probably going to end up transferring schools because of cancellations in classes at St.Cloud State University, but to where I don't know.  The hardest decision is transferring to be a part of the track and field roster, the football team, or try to do both!!

Either way this summer I will be busting my ass in the weight room and out on the football field, and if nothing else I WILL be a hell of a lot more athletic by the time next August rolls around.

Pumped
God Bless,
Much Love,
-Me

DAY 15

Very short blog today, finished packing all my clothes today and gonna bring them to goodwill or give them to some other people I know who might like/need them.  Gonna pack up most of my electronics and other stuff tomorrow, magazines, old games, etc.  Had one of the best nights of my life tonight and I definitely needed it.  Still wish I had a job, god that would be great. I need money.  Anyway no picture today but I will probably have a few tomorrow of the driveway and how big of a mess it is.
Goodnight,
God Bless,
Much Love.
-Me

DAY 14

Gonna make this one another short and sweet blog. SO happy things are going well again :)
Went to Green Bay again today and ate at Buffalo Wild Wings again, that place is THE BEST.  Did a little bit of shopping today and just picked up an Under Armour shirt at Dicks Sporting Goods.  They have by far my favorite weighlifting shirts, so light and easy to move around in!
ALSO DID WORK OUTSIDE, in the rain.  ITS RAINING yet there is like 8in of snow on the ground.... I hate this weather.  I've been running around trying to find job applications and such, I need money baaaaaaad, and I know if i try to monetize the blog, it's not going to matter because I don't get enough views for people to click on the links.... What to do, what to do.
Well made a video of me driving down the driveway so hopefully that uploads. 
Have a great evening
God Bless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 13

USING LARGE TEXT BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. But on a more serious note, today was a pretty great day.  Got a good lift in, went to the girls game and saw some friends, went out to eat  with my bud Adam and his GF and Maggie, and got to just relax and have fun again.  Things are starting to get better  after a shitty beginning.  Well ill make sure to update better and longer tomorrow. Just gonna go to bed happy :)
Godbless
Much Love
-Me

DAY 12

Funeral today.. Couldn't bare to see my Aunt.  I want to remember her for the happy, fun-loving person she always was.
Slept most of the day otherwise.  It felt pretty good to just lay down and not have to do anything.  Spent a lot of time just thinking about life and such.  So much has happened so far over break that it feels like my world is turning upside down in a matter of 3 days.  I think i just need to take some time to myself and enjoy life right now.  Otherwise i don't know what's going to happen when summer comes..
Lifting today was SUPER basic and actually not that great.  Barely did any lifts bu got to bench.  Unfortunately i felt really weak and tired so the lifts weren't that great.  Tomorrow though, I plan on absolutely killing legs if possible.  After lifting I don't know what I'll do.  I guess we will see what the day brings.
Later in the week I decided to pack up a ton of my old clothes that are way too big for me now and bringing them down to a store that pays you for them. I definitely think it'll be nice to get a little bit extra cash and be able to help a few people out with my extra clothes.
Nothing else really happened today.  I'm probably going to be up a few more hours just browsing the Internet and looking to see if I can gain a few bucks here before I go back to college.
God Bless,
Goodnight,
Much Love.
-Me

DAY 11

Not much happened today, just went outside and did some chores out there.  Watched quite a bit of basketball too.  Maybe I'll find something to do tonight besides driving around in my truck that's going to break down soon.  Also found out apparently my parents are moving out of this house as soon as i leave to head back to school.
I guess I just don't understand what is going on in my life right now, and lately I'm really not sure of anything.  Everything is changing and i can usually roll with the punches, but now.... I just don't know whats going to happen...
Not looking forward to this funeral on Monday.  I'm a huge baby when it comes to funerals and I'm sure this one will be just as rough.
Found a picture of me back when i was 3 years old.  Pretty much lookin like a stud, as usual.
Have a Goodnight
God Bless
Much Love
-Me  

DAY 10

Not much to say, found out one of my aunts died this morning in her sleep.  Not how I wanted to start my break.  So  many emotions going through my head right now.  If i dont post for a few days then I dont know what to say.

DAY 9

I AM OFFICIALLY...... ON SPRING BREAK!  Whoo!  And my Math class got cancelled which made my day so much better as well.  Other than that, the day has went extremely smooth. 

Arm Day! :)

Just got done with a great lifting session and will soon be showering then heading to subway for my 4th meal of the day!  Arm day is my least favorite day because I naturally have small arms, and it's clear that my left arm is smaller than my right (years of overcompensating).  SOOOOO I usually work on form a lot and make sure I'm hitting both arms equally even if its light weight. My buddy Daren also lifted with me and destroyed his legs, so a big SHOUT OUT to him for sticking around and lifting with me before he went home for break.
For the rest of the night, I'll probably just fit as much stuff in my suitcase and bag as possible to bring home.  Hopefully I will be able to fit some of the stuff i don't need in there and I can clear the room out a little bit. Probably will relax a lot and maybe do a little homework that way I wont have to worry about it over break.... Seriously who gives us homework over break...  Other than that not much else happened today.  Still about 8 hours before i get to sleep so maybe if something exciting happens or something worth mentioning happens,  I'll make a special post later on.  It sure would be nice to have something great happen!
 Have a great afternoon,
Much Love,
God Bless.
-Me

DAY 8

ONE DAY LEFT UNTIL SPRING BREAK. PUMPED!!!!!  Besides that, today was a totally chill day.  1 Class which i had a test in (probably bombed it, definitely dont know much about drugs but isnt that a good thing..?) Tomorrow i have 2 tests and a lab and then I'm done with class!! Gonna hopefully get a great arm and ab workout in after classes and such and just spend the night packing up the rest of my clothes and other things as well as enjoying the night.  Fell in love with mandarin oranges today.  Ate 3 WHOLE CANS that my mother sent me WHAT A FATTY :P  But hey I've been putting in a lot of hard work in the weight room so i deserve to splurge a little bit :)
Went to the mall today and got the best smelling shower gel ive EVER SMELLED in myEntire Life. Good god Bath and Body Works has some good stuff. 

I'll be smelling good when i come home for break, unfortunately I'll be smelling good for my parents pretty much and thats it.. ha... ha... ha... not that funny.  Can't wait to see mom.  Also can't wait to sleep in my own bed and hopefully get to watch my high school team kick some ass in the WIAA tournament.
Also got some new GOLD skullcandy headphones. These things are pretty tight. 
 Well hoping the rest of the night goes well, not much planned, just gonna get some new music.  The new roomate got me into some pretty sweet mixtapes, so I'll see if I can find them!
Have a great night,
Much Love,
God Bless.
-Me